Just a Girl
by Zooey
Summary: This is fanfic world so expect a suitable plot to create angst, put one or more characters in danger and have character make dramatic realisations about themselves and others. SC
1. Chapter 1

Title: **Just a Girl**

Author: Zooey

Rating: R – Deals with rape/violence against women. Also f/f : if that isn't your thing don't read on. I may use some long words.

Summary: This is fanfic world so expect a suitable plot to create angst, put one or more characters in danger and have character make dramatic realisations about themselves and others. Dum dum dum.

Disclaimer: The powers that be own these characters. I am just playing. (But if I did own them I wouldn't be firing 40% of the best ensemble cast on TV at the moment.)  
  
This is my first fanfic so please don't be mean. If you are going to be mean, could you word it in such a way that I might misconstrue it as a compliment? Thank you. Also I'm English so if the Americanisms are not right you have my deepest apologies.

Z xoxo

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The damp night air carried the smell of blood. It smelt like rust. Sara surveyed the scene. Blood everywhere: at least two pints, maybe more. In the darkness of the alley it was hard to tell exactly.  
  
"Jesus" Sara muttered in no particular direction. "And she survived this?"  
  
"That remains to be seen" Catherine looked up from where she was crouched. "She's still in theatre. Apparently it's touch and go."  
  
Sara grimaced as she looked up and down the alley. Behind the tape across the street a crowd had gathered. 'Ghouls' Sara thought. "Man, haven't they got anything better to do?" The onlookers really got to Sara in cases like these. It was as though the violation of the victim was perpetuated somehow by having people crowded at the scene just to say they'd seen the CSI's at work. "Probably frickin tourists, what a way to spend your vacation," Sara sighed as she crouched down to open her kit.  
  
Catherine followed Sara's gaze. "Ignore them. Brass is going to let us know when she's ready to see us but from what junior here said," Catherine motioned to a rather green looking policeman standing a few feet away, "I don't think that is going to be tonight."  
  
Sara considered the new boy. He looked a little weedy to be cop. Perhaps LVPD had lowered their fitness standards.  
  
"Do we have an ID?"  
  
"Sorry, the assailant took her clothes and she was too beaten to talk when the EMTs arrived. Young girl, dark hair, in her 20's probably a student." The young man blushed as he spoke to Sara but she dismissed it as him being new on the job.  
  
Sarah glanced at Catherine. By the looks of things she'd only arrived a few minutes before her.  
  
"Well no body so... hey you're the primary you call the shots," the two women were finally beginning to get along again so Sara wasn't about to step on toes where it wasn't necessary.  
  
"Walk through, one to ones and collection. We'd better work fast though looks like rain and I don't want anything lost. I want to nail this asshole."  
  
"Dam right" Sara muttered as she began to scrutinise the scene.  
  
An hour, 62 samples and 256 photos later the two women reconvened at the entrance to the alley.  
  
"Do want to call it?"  
  
Sara looked at Catherine with some uncertainty. It wasn't like Catherine to be so, well, easy to work with. She searched the older woman's face for clues but if there were any Catherine certainly wasn't giving anything away.  
  
"Sure." She looked at Catherine quizzically again before beginning. "Young woman, mid twenties, alone, walking either past or down the alley. She is grabbed from behind and smashed against the wall here." Sara points to the wall.  
  
Catherine chipped in "We know it has to be the first blow. It's the least blood. How do you know she's grabbed from behind?"  
  
"I don't, not yet, but that looks like lipstick to me so she's smashed face forward into the wall. Hopefully Grego can confirm for me"  
  
"Nice."  
  
Sara beamed; it was nice to get a compliment however muted. Catherine motioned for her to continue.  
  
"Sorry, yeah, so she's thrown against the wall several more times. By this point she's bleeding heavily, nose, lips and head are particularly vascular. She's probably also semi-conscious by this point."  
  
"And scared out of her mind"  
  
Sara felt a pressure in her chest as she imagined how the girl must of felt. "Anyway she was hit hard lots of splatter." She motions to the far- reaching spray and continues, "The assailant then knocks her to the floor. There is some pooling where she bled out. He assaults her..."  
  
"Rapes her; come on Sara lets call a spade a spade"  
  
"...and leaves her for dead" Sara shuddered at that word. Of all the crimes it was the sexually motivated ones that would get to her the most. "Unfortunately for him she is a fighter and drags herself to the entrance of the alley, hence the smearing, where she is spotted by, um, well whoever called it in."  
  
"Robin Morgan, 23, Brass is doing the background. Seems as though she was walking home and spotted our victim; she called 911 from her cell."  
  
"Bet she's had better days. Let's get to the ER and collect any evidence that hasn't been wrecked. Hopefully someone had the presence of mind to bag her hands and do a rape kit." Sara grinned. "Your ride or mine?" Sara knew full well Catherine hated her driving. It wasn't that she drove recklessly it was just that she didn't see the point in hanging around. She stooped to pick up her kit and shot a smirk in Catherine's direction.  
  
Catherine looked green. "It's going to have to be yours; Warrick dropped me off." Catherine took a few slow steps towards the Tahoe Sara drove. "Just remember we're not in the Indie500."  
  
Sarah grinned.  
  
"Excuse the mess, I buy the newspapers having every intention of reading them but they just seem to pile up. I was hoping to drop them off at a recycling point when I got the call" Sara explained as she shifted a pile of papers from the passenger seat.  
  
"At least you buy them. What with work and Lindsey a few minutes of rolling news is all I seem to manage."  
  
Sara smiled at Catherine. "I think you do pretty well." Their eyes met and the eye contact lasted a little too long to be comfortable. Sara blushed and looked at the ignition. As she turned the key the dulcet tones of a women and a guitar emanated from the speakers.  
  
"Who's this? I know this song from somewhere."  
  
"Aimee Mann, she did the Magnolia soundtrack"  
  
"Ah, that would be it."  
  
"If you like it you can borrow it." Sara said a little too hastily, she was feeling unusually eager to please. Catherine in a good mood had put her in a good mood. 


	2. Chapter 2

AN: So in the time between writing chapter 1 and 2 I bought a flat, completely renovated it, and moved in. Started a new business, helped out a very pregnant friend with her household chores, babysat and visited three babies that I believe purposely waited for the busiest time in my life to pop out. A sob story yes but it makes it no less true. I have been working from 7 until 12 for 4 weeks straight so if this is crap, please be lenient.

But JF and GE were reinstated; hurrah.

Z xoxo

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The two women walked through the automatic doors and winced at the harshness of the artificial lighting.

"See, we're here and what d'ya know all in one piece." Sara Smirked "You know you've really got to start to relax."

"When my pulse stops racing at twice its normal speed I will definitely consider that option." Came the retort.

Sara looked at Catherine and raised one eyebrow. "You can always walk back to the lab."

"I will also be considering that option"

As they reached the admissions desk a harassed-looking young woman looked up at them. Catherine started the charm offensive. "Hi, this is Sara Sidel, I'm Catherine Willows; from the Crime Lab. I was wondering if you could help us locate someone brought in earlier today." Catherine smiled at the clerk as she spoke.

The young clerk gave them a weary look "Do you have a name?"

"I'm afraid not you see the vic ...the woman in question was found without ID".

"We've had 5 Jane Does brought in over the last 24 hours you are going to have to be more specific."

"Beaten so badly she was unconscious and had to go straight to surgery on arrival." Sara was beginning to get impatient

"Well then I suggest you try surgery," replied the clerk with a tone easily as curt as Sara's.

Sara grimaced and walked in the direction of the elevators. Catherine shot an apologetic look at the clerk before quick stepping to catch Sara up.

"Would it kill people to be helpful?" Sara hit the elevator button with venom; stabbing at the button with each word.

"And here was I thinking you were feeling less misanthropic today."

"I don't ... I am not a misanthrope just... what do you mean less misanthropic... How many times do I have to press this flippin' button" Sara hit the button a few more times

Catherine laughed "Because of course that makes it come quicker."

Sara stopped and took stock of the absurdity of her actions and laughed.

"Hospitals make you antsy huh?" The older woman searched Sara's face for the answer.

Sara looked plainly at Catherine as she spoke and shrugged. She hit the elevator button with the palm of her hand and at that moment the elevator doors pulled open. Sara cocked her head to the side in triumph and motioned an 'after you'.

As they were not alone in the elevator Catherine did not prod any further and by the third floor Sara had regained her usual composure.

The receptionist looking after the surgery admission was no more helpful than the irritating girl at the front desk. Sara was just contemplating getting stroppy when she heard someone shout from down the hall.

"Hey Kam you stalkin' me now? You know really just have to let it go. You just aren't my type."

Sara grinned "You should be so lucky." Catherine turned to see a very tall handsome man in scrubs bounding up to Sara.

"Well if it isn't the most beautiful public servant I know." The man turned to look at Catherine. "Actually Kam I think you may have some competition." The young Doctor took Catherine's hand and bent down to kiss it but not before being swiped across the back of the head by the Brunette.

"Down boy. Ignore him Catherine he's harmless." Sara grinned.

"Catherine, huh?" The man smirked at Sara and raised an eyebrow. "Well, well pleased to meet you."

"Pleased to meet you too I'm sure." Catherine extended her hand and looked quizzically at Sara who was slowly turning a rather fetching shade of puce. "Is harmless your given name or..."

Sara jumped in "Sorry what would Miss Manners say. Casey this is Catherine, she works with me at the lab. Catherine this is Casey who somehow managed to fool someone into thinking he was smart enough to be a doctor."

"Nice to meet you Casey."

"Now, Kam, enough of the niceties, when are you going to give me the chance to win my money back? I've got a £100k loan to pay back you know."

Catherine looked more amused than confused but Sara let her into the loop anyway. "Casey may be the finest surgeon that the state of Nevada has to offer, but he sucks at bowling."

Casey held his chest as if mortally wounded. "Not all of us can be freaks of nature Kam"

"Not all of us have issues with aim"

Catherine looked somewhat amused at the picture of Sara that was unfolding. She has friends, likes to bowl and has a strange nickname. Casey turned to the receptionist and handed her the charts he had been carrying up till now.

Catherine took the opportunity to question the taller woman on the origins of the strange nickname. "Why does he keep calling you 'Kam'?"

"Long story." Sara sighed. "Basically he is under the impression that if you say my name fast enough it sounds like suicidal." Sara paused to let Catherine comment and when none came she continued. "He then thought he'd call me Kamikaze which eventually shortened to Kam. Actually I guess it's not that long a story."

"Not really. Where do you know him from?"

"Ah..." Sara hesitated clearly not wanting to tell Catherine all the ins an outs. "We met through a mutual friend."

"And how is she?" Casey chimed back into the conversation.

"I could care less"

"OK still in that place are we?"

Sara scowled at him.

Casey quickly redirected the conversation. "I suppose you two lovely ladies haven't just come to see me."

"You're right. We've come to get some info on a Jane Doe brought in earlier. Pretty badly banged up. Came straight to Surgery by all accounts" Catherine jumped in sensing the tension meter climbing 50 points. "Are we in the right place?"

"You certainly are. She is less of a Jane Doe though. Her name is Rosie we think"

"What makes you say that?" Sara was suddenly back in case mode.

"My amazing psychic ability and the tattoo that says 'Rosie hearts Sid' on her gluteus maximus."

"What makes you think she's not Sid?"

"Good point and well made. But it was the tattoo of the rose on her left shoulder which lead me to think my first instinct was right."

"And here I thought all those years in med school were wasted." Sara smiled and then became serious once more. "What's the damage?"

"The list of things not damaged would me shorter. But major injuries include; facial fractures, crush injuries to both radii, dislocated shoulder, fractures to the right tib and fib, fractured left fib, fractures to hands and fingers. She suffered multiple contusions including major damage to the genital region, tearing that sort of thing. Her face is a mess, she needed 27 stitches, scalp laceration. She's anaemic due to the blood loss and when she does eventually wake up we will know if she has suffered any permanent visual impairment."

The two women stood in silence wearied by the extensive list of injuries.

Catherine was the first to speak. "Have you kept her clothes?" Casey nodded. "Was a rape kit done?" Casey looked over at Sara and nodded again.

"I've heard enough stories of cases being dropped to know the importance of the physical evidence. Kam here tells..." Casey was cut short by Sara kicking the reception desk. The flimsy panelling caved easily under the force of the angry brunette's foot.

"Hey," the receptionist exclaimed, taken aback by Sara's aggression.

Catherine shot the beleaguered receptionist a look as she reached out to comfort Sara. Sara didn't respond, she just set her jaw in determination and almost breathed out, "Can we see her?"

"She's sedated sweetie and yet to regain consciousness." Casey rubbed his friends shoulder with the look of real compassion in his eye. Sara shrugged him off.

"I don't want to talk to her; I want to take photos for the DA. Whoever did this is going to feel the full weight of the law."

"You'll have to be quick there are other patients in the same room. The relatives have been put off enough by the cops stationed outside the door."

Sara nodded lees out of agreement and more because she felt she ought to. The two women followed Casey down the stark hospital corridor. Catherine made an attempt to lighten Sara's mood.

"So he's cute any chance you two have you know been more than just friends?"

Sara grinned at Catherine. "He's so not my type and well to be honest I'd have more chance with George Michael," she chuckled.

"Okay then." Catherine grinned back at her.

The trio rounded the corner and came to an observation bay. Two of Las Vegas' finest were sitting outside the bay drinking out of hospital regulation Styrofoam cups. Both stood as they saw Catherine and Sara approach. "At ease fellas." Catherine advised as she passed them.

The two women drew nearer to bedside of the girl Casey had indicated.

Catherine let out a low whistle. "Jesus, she looks like she's been in a car wreck."

Casey described the injuries again, this time in mere detail. It wasn't for a few minutes that Catherine realised Sara wasn't taking any photos. She turned to see Sara standing stock still, staring at the victim, pale as a sheet, having bitten her lip so hard that blood was trickling down her chin.

"Sara," getting no response Catherine tried again, "Sara, Sara are you ok?"

Catherine's voice brought Sara back to the room. "Excuse me." she almost mouthed as she bolted from the room.

Catherine and Casey followed in hot pursuit and rounded the corner to see Sara being sick in the trash can. Catherine swept Sara's hair off her face and held it back as she was sick again. Sara looked up at Catherine when she finished too distraught to be embarrassed.

"Sorry"

"Don't be, look if the case is too much or you are not feeling well I can have one of the boys..."

Sara interjected, "It's not that. Catherine, I know her."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: So sometimes in life horrible and unexplainable things happen. One of the babies has had some trouble and things were a little touch and go. This coupled with a hectic work schedule has left little time for frivolity hence the radio silence. (He is a fighter though and things look good for the future.)

Ooh Happy New Year!

Sara sat staring into the plastic cup Catherine had handed her moments earlier. The tepid water only tasted marginally better that the stale taste of vomit in her mouth. Catherine and Casey stood a little way off as Sara told the officers all the details she knew about the girl in ICU. Her tone was flat and low making it difficult for Catherine and Casey to hear her exact words until one of the officers thanked her.

"Thank you ma'am, let us know when you've made that call," said one of the pair as they walked back down the hall to return to their post outside the ward.

"I'll call now, okay." Sara called out after the two young officers. They turned and nodded giving her a sympathetic look. Sara cast her eyes to the floor not quite knowing what to do with herself next. She sipped from the cup again and wondered where Catherine had managed to find the foulest water she had ever tasted.

Catherine's feet entered her field of vision and Sara tried to gauge her mood from her shifting feet, aware that the usually vocal older woman had said very little since she had bolted from ICU.

The worried pair stood over Sara, making her feel obliged to say something. Eventually Sara cleared her throat knowing she had to at least attempt to offer an explanation for not only her behaviour but for how she knew the victim. She took a deep breath as if beginning to say something and then thinking better of it just shook her head and looked down at the cup once again. The mundane object providing a brief moment of escape. Tiny revelations now would blow her privacy out of the water.

"Are you 'Sid'?"

Catherine's words broke the silence and reverberated along the sparsely furnished hospital corridor. Casey smirked at Catherine but as she was fixed on Sara neither of them noticed. Sara looked up at Catherine, thrown of balance, confused more by the manner of asking than the actual question itself.

"Huh?"

"Are you Sid?" Catherine reiterated. "The tattoo 'Rosie hearts Sid'…"

"What? God no. No." Sara was definite with her answer. "What makes you say that?"

"Sid, Sidle. I wondered I thought perhaps you were Sid." Still the hint of questioning in her voice or perhaps

"No" Sara chuckled to herself at the absurdity of that thought. "Sid stands for Sidney not Sidle, definitely not Sidle."

"Oh."

"I have never, as far as I know, been tattooed on anyone"

Catherine, Sara noted, seemed to relax at this, but an awkward silence ensued.

Casey finally spoke up. "Sweetie, you okay?"

Sara looked up at him wearily and smiled weakly. "I'm fine. Just the shock of…"

Cut off by the screeching sound of Casey's pager Sara almost jumped out of her skin. It rang out with urgency and Casey looked imploringly at Sara

Sara simply said "go."

"It's urgent."

"I know. Go."

"I'm sorry." Casey bolted off down the corridor.

"There goes the cavalry." Sara mused after Casey.

Catherine looked at Sara. "I'll finish where the cavalry left mid sentence. Are you okay?"

"It's different when you know them." She said simply. Feeling scrutinised Sara stood and began to pace the hall.

"How do you know her?"

"She's a friend of an ex. We used to be good friends but when Sid and I split well, I got the best of 1989 CD and Sid got Rosie." Sensing Catherine needed more she continued, "Her name is Rosie Winter. She is a PhD student at UNLV. I used to hang with Rosie before Sidney before Sid moved down to Vegas a few months ago. Sidney is… well we were at college together. We parted amicably enough but not enough to hang out together. The tattoo is new though…." Sara trailed off trying to put all the pieces together in her head. Feeling she'd said enough to be getting on with she started down the corridor to be out of earshot. "Listen I have to call Sidney."

"Sure. Do you know what you are going to say to him?" Catherine asked half following the brunette down the corridor.

Sara grimaced, looked at Catherine, shrugged and carried on walking away down the corridor.

Sara steadied herself with her hand against the wall as she spoke to Sidney. Another wave of nausea threatened to overtake her. Her heroic attempts not to cry or be sick were almost thwarted by the sound of Sidney's distress. As she finished her call she glared at her cell as if all blame could be laid with it. Catherine walked up to offer comfort but Sara looked off into the middle distance as her co-worker approached. In her peripheral vision she could see Catherine pull a face. Sara felt badly, knowing it would upset Catherine to be shut out, but she felt her mental state could not cope with exposition and analysis at this point. Needing to escape she blurted out, "I need to freshen up I look like shit."

"You don't look like shit."

"Okay, I need to feel less like I look like shit."

Catherine just nodded.

Without pausing Sara added, "I'm thinking I hit the gift shop and purchase myself overpriced toothpaste and mouthwash. I think if I can kick this vomit breath I will be at least part of the way there to feeling presentable. Maybe I'll buy gum. Want anything?"

"No you knock yourself out, I'm good. The vending machine down the hall has all the m&ms I need." Sara smiled briefly. "I need to finish collecting evidence from the vic…"Catherine stopped short. "I'm sorry Rosie."

"Ok I'll be back in ten." As Sara turned to seek out the gift shop she added an after thought. "Sid'll be here in twenty."

True to her word, Sara was back pacing the corridor barely ten minutes after she left. Catherine chatted nonchalantly on the phone as she wandered over.

"Okay I'll let you know," Catherine finished as she snapped her phone shut. "Feeling any better?" she asked the brunette."

"Well maybe not better, but certainly minty-er. Sara flashed a half smile. "I managed to divest myself of the vomit breath."

"And I got rid of the smell." Sara looked at Catherine confused. "I got them to empty the bins." Catherine winked and indicated towards the bin where Sara had emptied her guts half an hour or so earlier. Sara resumed her embarrassed look. "Don't be embarrassed at least you made it to the bin. Lindsey seems to manage to get it everywhere but."

"Don't tell anyone." Sara blurted.

"That you puked?"

Sara shook her head. "No," she drew a breath, "that I am so closely linked. I want to help."

"Sara, no way. You are not working this case. Conflict of interest much. You cannot work this case. I'll get one of the boys to help out." Sara looked at Catherine imploringly. "No way Sara any judge will throw our evidence right out of court if they know you know the vic. I will keep you in the loop but you have to be strictly hands off."

"I don't want the boys pawing all over my friend's lives"

"You mean your life." Catherine clarified.

Sara nodded weakly and Catherine nodded back in sympathy.

"So tell me about her."

"Bright girl. We were at college together. In fact she introduced me to Sidney. We used to live in each other's pockets back then. Anyway Rosie came down here to live with her Grandma," Sara looked at Catherine and simply said "Alzheimer's" by way of an explanation and continued. "She stayed on after her Grandma died. Sid moved down a few months back. I guess now I know why. She's teaching physics at UNLV."

"She?" Catherine said as though she'd misheard.

"She what?" Sara cocked her head to the side in confusion. Her expression changed to one of disquiet as she caught sight of Sidney over Catherine's shoulder. As Catherine looked up behind her she caught sight of a tall leggy blond almost running down the hall towards Sara. Catherine half turned to Sara and raised an eyebrow. Sara caught Sid's head in her hand as they collided, she pulled Sidney to her and Sidney sobbed into Sara's chest.


	4. Chapter 4

"Is it bad?" Sidney looked Sara straight in the eyes.

Sara nodded gently; she switched from closed CSI, cool and aloof, to friend. "She's badly beaten and still unconscious."

"Was she…?" Sidney's words failed her.

Sara nodded quietly again, her dismayed expression saying more than she could express with words. The tall brunette was aware of Catherine standing quietly beside her as she comforted Sidney. Sara drew her breath and made her choice. "Do you want to see her?" Sara broached the subject carefully.

Sidney nodded like a small child who was being offered a lolly to stop crying.

Sara led Sidney to Rosie's bedside.

"Oh honey what happened?" Sidney put her had to her mouth as her knees gave way from beneath her.

"Hey," Sara deftly caught Sidney as she crumpled. "She's strong, she made it this far."

"Oh God… Sara this is all my fault." Sidney howled

Sara cupped Sidney's head in both hands and looked her square in the face. "Look at me. You are not responsible for this. No one made this happen except the sick fuck that did it." Sara took a deep breath. "She needs you to be strong Sid."

"No Sara you don't understand. This is all my fault." Again Sidney's knees buckled and Sara caught her as she dissolved.

Sara led Sidney to the seats outside the ward. Catherine hung back but close enough to be part of the group. Sara was aware she hadn't even introduced the two. "Catherine, sorry, this is Sidney," she said simply motioning towards her old friend."Sid, this is Catherine, she'll be working the case."

Sidney barely acknnowledged Catherine as she conitued to chastise herself. "I always have to have the last word." She let out a loud sob. "I can't just let it go." Sara looked at Sidney confused. "Oh my god what if I lose her… That bastard. If I see him..." Sidney was almost ranting.

Sara took Sidney's hand as she spoke. "You're not making any sense. Did you see Rosie last night?"

"Yes." Sidney shuddered as she spoke. "Last night we went to Gipsy."

"Was there a beer bust?" Catherine asked jokingly knowing that most nights there was. Realising almost instantly that the joke was inappropriate.

"Uh huh."Sid shook her head not really confirming what Catherine had said. "Rosie had to go back home. She works really hard. She had some preparation to do for tomorrow. She really needs to be alone to work. Apparently I'm too noisy or too much of a distraction or something." Sidney smiled weakly. Sara resisted the urge to tell Sidney to keep to the facts; but this was a friend not some witness.

Catherine steped in as if she had read her mind. "Did she go back to her apartment?"

"I begged her to come back to come back to mine, I'm going back up to Boston tonight for a week. She said she would and go home instead of staying so she could get her work done. She works really hard." Sara frowned at her usually articulate old friend; either she'd changed or the shock was settling in.

Sara started to ask questions so she could get the details before Sidney completely fell apart.

"Did she go back to your apartment?"

"Yes, I can be persuasive."

"I remember." Sara looked at Sidney fondly, missing Catherine's amused smile.

"We were walking back, holding hands. I kissed her and out of the blue some guy starts having a go. Yelling that we weren't real women and all we needed was a good f-. " Sidney corrected herself, remembering she didn't know Catherine "well you know, to set us straight. Sidney was looking extremely agitated. "You know the type of garbage. Sounded like that punk frat boy you dissed in college."

"I know the type." Sara shook her head and rolled her eyes in distain.

"He started saying he could show us what a real man was like. I told him off. Told him he was a jumped up little prick. That even if he was the last man on earth he would never be a real man. I'd had a drink. I was feeling big and brave. Rosie told me to leave it. But I was tripping on it. He started to threaten us and I yelled at him some more as I went into the building."

"He was outside your building?" Sara clarified.

Sid nodded and continued. "He tripped up the curb and fell. I laughed at him said I could see what a real man he was." She took a deep sigh. "He said he would 'show me' and I slammed the door on him ranting."

"What happened then? Did you call anybody? Do you have security in your building?" Sara suddenly wanted to know every detail immediately.

"Rosie was shaken up. She wanted me to call the cops but I told her not to worry he would take himself off to some bar telling anyone who would listen about the evils of lesbianism."

Sara opened her eyes wide in anger. Angry that Sid would put Rosie in danger like that, put herself in danger like that, to purposefully wind someone up. Catherine could see her about to explode and butted in.

"This guy, could you describe him?" Catherine asked wanting useful details.

"Shortish but stocky. A bit rough around the edges."

"Height?"

"A bit taller than Rosie not as tall as me."

"So what, five six five seven maybe?" Sid nodded and Catherine continued. "Hair colour?"

"Dark I think"

"Would you recognise him again?" Sara asked having recovered her composure.

"I think so." Sid paused and nodded in certainty "Definitely the bastard."

"What time did Rosie leave?"

"It must have been after eleven."

"How long was she at your apartment?" Sara asked reluctantly.

"No more than an hour. I had to pack she had to get her work done."

"Did you hear anything after she left?

"No I was kind of out of it. I'd had a drink and…" Sara knew what Sid was driving at; she nodded at the blonde to continue knowing if things hadn't changed Sidney would have needed a small post-coital snooze.

"She didn't call me to say she'd got back okay." Sidney started to whimper. "When you called I thought it was her. I was going to be cross she'd forgotten to call. Isn't that terrible?"

"Honey, shush this isn't your fault." Sara pulled her old friend in closer.

"It isn't my fault?" Sidney shot Sara a look of incredulity. "How can you say that? I make her come back to mine, rile up some guy who lays in wait for her and I don't even notice that she hasn't called me to say she'd got home safe… oh my god I did this to her."

"Okay, okay it's going to be okay. Rosie is going to pull through. She is not going to blame you. Nobody will blame you." Sara pulled her friend into a hug. "We don't even know if it was the same guy."

"That's my job. To find out what happened." Catherine stepped forward to rub Sidney's shoulder. "We'll catch him and lock him up, okay?" Sidney smiled at Catherine weakly.

"I need to talk to the police and tell them what you told Sara and me so they can start canvassing the neighbourhood."

Sid nodded.

"Sara?" Catherine motioned to her colleague to follow her.

"I'll be back in two minutes tops. Kay?" Sidney nodded and tucked her knees up under her chin. Sara and Catherine walked far enough up the corridor to be out of earshot.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I think I've kicked into auto-pilot." Sara fished her keys from her pocket. "I can't leave her here like this. Take the Tahoe I won't be going anywhere soon."

"You sure?"

Sara wasn't entirely sure but she had to be. What ever had stood between Sidney and herself now they did once care for eachother and Sidney was going to need someone to lean on. Her mind turned to case details. "Have you got all the evidence? Everything you need?"

"Do you want details or placating?" Catherine asked tentatively.

"Details," Sara gritted her teeth knowing she may not want to hear what Catherine had to say.

"Well, there was some physical evidence that will tie the case together but the seminal fluid in the rape kit that was done when she was in surgery is the clincher. Hopefully this guy will be in CODIS. I've got to do some leg work so I can substantiate the time line whilst I get Grego to run the evidence."

"Could you let Grissom know I'm going to take some personal time? A few days."

"What do you want me to tell him?"

"Something personal came up. Don't tell him about the case." Sara knew it was an irrational thing to say. Grissom would have to find out and she knew that Catherine would need to explain why she couldn't work the case.

"He has got to find out sometime." Catherine said as if to confirm what Sara was thinking. "About the case I mean."

"I know. I know. I need to think about what I'm going to say. How much I want to say." Sara trailed off.

"You don't have to_ say_ anything. Sara this is case which happens to involve a friend of yours nobody needs to know anymore than that. Catherine flashed Sara a big comforting smile and squeezed her shoulders. " But if you do decide to say something I don't think it will be a big surprise to people Sara."

"What, that I have friends?" Sara asked with a feigned wounded look.

"No that will be a surprise." Catherine chuckled as Sara made a face. "No, I mean your…" Catherine chose her words carefully. "Particular choice of friends."

Sara spun on her heels to return back down the hallway. She turned back to Catherine, smiled and mouthed 'thank you' and with one last cheeky grin she added: "If you could drop my recycling off that would be fab…"

"Explains a lot though…" Catherine called after her.

Sara shrugged and continued down the hall.


	5. Chapter 5

There was a small whirring noise, barely audible over the other noises on the ward, as the machine delivering one of the drugs ticked over. Sara couldn't quite make out the name of the drug from her position, but whatever it was she knew it would be another 56 seconds before it happened again. Sara counted everything she could to push out thoughts of how Rosie came to be laying there. Everything could be counted and recounted. The lines going in, the drains going out, drip rates, blood pressure, and heart rate. Sara watched as Rosie's chest rose and fell with the regularity only associated with a ventilator. Sara counted each breath and calculated the rate, checking herself against the screen displaying Rosie's vitals. Occasionally there would be an extra one or two shallow breaths evident on the screen that fell outside the rate set by the ventilator and complicated Sara's calculations.

"Spontaneous respiration," one of the nurses had explained earlier. "It's a good sign it means she is breathing for herself, even if it is only occasionally."

The screen was at the head of the bed and every ten minutes or so, a nurse would come and note the numbers. Now and then, the nurse might adjust a drip rate or the oxygen supply, but mostly she would simply note down the figures and ask Sara if she or Sidney, who was now asleep on Sara's lap, would like anything.

The counting and recounting, the gentle whirring of the machines in the warm hospital and having Sidney asleep on her lap, had a rather soporific effect on Sara; she had been sitting in the same position for a little over 5 hours. Sidney had finally fallen into a restless sleep an hour before and Sara's leg had now gone numb under the weight of Sid's head on her thigh.

Sara's mind wandered to what Catherine had said as she left. What did it explain? Was she being obvious? Warrick always said that every player had their 'tell' and Sara wondered what had supposedly given her away. She was so careful to keep her private life away from work; with good reason. Her previous experiences had taught her not fish from the company pier. After what had happened in San Francisco, she was dubious of even getting her toes wet.

The CSI's heavy eyelids were threatening to close; objects in the room had become blurry blobs through her eyelashes. Just before sleep crept up on her completely, she noticed movement from the bed. Her eyes flew open as a cacophony of alarms sounded, rousing both Sara and Sidney.

"What is it what is going on?" The sound of panic was evident in Sid's voice.

"I…I don't know." stammered Sara.

Rosie's arm was thrashing about and it was the first time that Sara had seen her eyes open. The girl in the bed was reaching up to her face.

"Get them out of the way!" barked a ferocious sounding nurse. Sid and Sara backed towards the observation glass. Sara could see a flurry of hands working on Rosie. Each second ticked by in an age. "She's trying to pull out the tube."

"What has her sats been like?" Sara sought out the owner of the new voice and saw a doctor probably a resident looking worriedly at her friend.

"Ninety-seven, ninety-eight on 10 litres," came the reply.

"Fine. Let's try breathing without the tube then." The rather young looking doctor then started to talk to Rosie. "Rosie hi, my name is Ellie, I'm a doctor here and we are going to make you feel a little more comfortable. There is a tube in your throat helping you to breathe but now you are awake we are going to take it out. Okay?" The doctor had a reassuring voice.

"What's going on Sara?" Sidney asked, close to tears.

Sara looked at her friend and smiled warmly. "She wants to breathe by herself. The tube is irritating her and so she's trying to pull it out."

"That's a good sign, right? Sidney asked expectantly.

"Yes, that is a good sign." Sara reassured her old friend. I told you she's a fighter."

"Suction."

"Rosie what I am going to need you to do is calm down. Concentrate on breathing rhythmically. Ignore us and just concentrate on breathing." Sara could see the doctor looking directly into Rosie's eyes. "When I tell you I want you to try and cough. You may not be able to do it but I want you to try." Rosie's head moved a millimetre as she tried to nod. Sara's heart leapt, Rosie was at least aware of what was going on around her. "When you cough," the doctor continued, "I'm going to pull out this nasty tube. Your face is swollen and bruised so this might hurt. You are on some medication that might be making you feel a little weird."

Sidney grabbed Sara's hand and put her other hand to her mouth in anticipation. Sara gave Sid's hand a friendly squeeze never really looking away from what was happening to Rosie.

"Come on we need a mask over here. I want 15 litres of humidified oxygen," the nurse demanded

"Okay Rosie on three cough. One, two, and three…" on three as the doctor spoke, she pulled the tube from Rosie's throat.

"Suction."

Sara looked expectantly at the machine and sure enough Rosie began breathe on her own.

"Ninety-eight percent saturation on fifteen litres. Excellent."

There was a period of adjusting drip rates and medication before the activity settled to relative calm. Sara fixed her gaze on the monitor watching to make sure Rosie was okay. The doctor approaching broke her concentration. "We have extubated her for her own comfort. So long as she maintains her oxygen saturation, the way she has been, I'm happy to let her breathe for herself." Sara went to say 'thank you' but a fog of grief and exhaustion was threatening to settle and she didn't genuinely feel thankful for anything at that moment. The young woman reached out and rubbed the top of Sara's arm, giving her a sympathetic look. "You need to look after yourselves." She said gently and then cleared her throat as her tone changed to a more professional one. "Now the tube is out she will be able to speak but remember her throat is going to be very dry and sore. Make sure your friend realises Rosie is also on a huge amount of pain medication so even if she does speak she may not make sense."

Sara had not even noticed Sidney leave her side. She looked over to where Sidney was knelt by Rosie's bedside and stared at the two as Sidney chatted to Rosie and stroked her head and hair. The noises of the unit fell away and a rushing sound filled Sara's ears. Rosie looked so small and beaten up. The smell of the alley from earlierfilled her nostrils and the memory of all that blood filled Sara's consciousness. She felt sick or angry or both; it was hard to tell. Suddenly she felt she had to do something, stop sitting around in the hospital and find the guy that did this. Sara's heart began to race as she left the unit and ran down the hall in search of elevators; cursing herself under her breath, that she had let Catherine take the Tahoe.

Finding that pressing the elevator buttons rapidly and repeatedly did not make the elevator come any faster, Sara looked around for the stairwell. Her eyes, nose and back of her throat were burning and as she found the steps, the grief that had been building for the last six or so hours finally broke Sara. The strength she had found for Sidney had left her and she sunk on the top stair, sat holding the handrail for support, and wept for her friend and the injustice of it all.


	6. Chapter 6

Sara regrouped and got up from the stairs, feeling levelheaded again, she headed towards the bathrooms. A lifetime of hiding in the bathroom to weep had made it impossible for Sara to have a cry without needing to pee.

Sara scrutinised herself in the mirror as she washed her hands. 'Nobody mistakes me for being in my twenties' she mused, half remembering how the officer at the scene had described Rosie. The women were in fact the same age and more to the point Rosie's birthday was the month before Sara's which technically made her older for at least one month of the year. However, admittedly the tall CSI was not looking her finest. She was pale and blotchy from crying and her clothes resembled the pile of laundry she had been avoiding on her bedroom floor.

She popped a stick of gum in her mouth and headed back to see how the patient was progressing.

Absently walking up the corridor, Sara failed to see the doctor until it was too late. As they collided both women ended up on the floor through the force of the impact.

"Oh God, I'm sorry," the doctor scrambled to her feet and extended a hand to Sara. "I really am working on looking where I'm going."

"I find it helps," Sara waved the hand away and stood unaided. "Though it is an interesting way to drum up clientele."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, as much my fault as yours and I don't seem to be damaged in a lawsuit kind of way." Sara grinned in case the doctor thought she was serious.

"Are you sure?" Came the reply.

"About the lawsuit?" Sara quipped.

"No," Raising one eyebrow in mock scorn. "That you are not hurt, though I can see that your facetious bone is still in tact."

"I'm fine." Sara gave herself the once over. "Honestly. How about you?"

"No lawsuit here either.

"Funny." Sara felt relieved for a second as she forgot why she was in the hospital and although only momentary, it felt good.

The two women lingered in the hall a little not really speaking until Sara cleared her throat awkwardly. "I guess I had better not keep you from wherever you were on a collision course for."

"Huh?" The doctor began absently and then recovered, "I should really…" The woman pointed down the corridor, "go."

"Okay, well nice bumping into you."

"Likewise, I'm Ellie by the way." Half extending her hand to shake Sara's.

"Yes," Sara nodded "I know, you just extubated my friend."

"That's true; I was actually just fishing for your name."

"Sara, Sara Sidle." Reached out to shake Ellie's hand

"Well Sara, Sara Sidle I will see you around." Ellie smiled genially at the tall CSI and bustled off up the passage.

Sara snapped back into the horrible reality that was a few rooms away. She inhaled deeply and wondered how it must feel to be Rosie or Sidney in this moment.

As Sara entered the room they had moved Rosie to, Sid looked up at her.

"You Okay?" Sidney half whispered as Rosie appeared to be sleeping.

"Toilet." Sara replied by way of an explanation of her absence.

"You were gone nearly an hour."

"No soap." Sara offered. "I needed to tell someone." Sara was not about to tell Sidney that she had spent the best part of thirty minutes sobbing on the stairs. She did not tell Sid that sort of thing when they were dating, so it was definitely not up for conversation now.

"Your partner came back." Sid cocked her head to one side to think. "The blonde girl with the southern accent. I forget her name."

"Catherine."

Sid nodded in half agreement. "She's around somewhere."

"Thanks, you okay?"

"That would be a definite no." She made a face. "But I expect I will be at some point." Sid looked directly at Sara. "You?"

"Not so much either." Sara shrugged and sighed. "I can't ever remember her looking so fragile."

"She'll kick your ass for saying that."

"I know."

"Thanks for being here Sara."

"It's okay."

"I'm sorry we haven't stayed in touch."

"This isn't for now, but I'm sorry too." Sara looked at her old friend and smiled gently.

"We'll get together when Rosie's up to doing shooters."

"Well that'll be in around an hour or so." Sara laughed.

Sid nodded in agreement. "And she'll still drink us both under the table." The two women looked at the Rosie and chuckled. "It is uncanny how somebody that small can hold their drink."

Sara looked at the girl sleeping in the bed, her busted lip looked swollen and sore and the bruise on her face had developed into a brilliant purple. The CSI sighed deeply and could not help thinking that when Rosie's cuts had healed and the bruises had faded it would take much longer for this to heal; if ever. Sighing again, she turned to Sidney. "Take care Sid. I won't disturb her now. I'll visit later tonight; I'll give you some space. You have my cell if you need anything. Tell her I said…" Sara faltered, looking at Rosie for the last time that evening. "Tell her I said the officer on the scene thought she was in her twenties and I'm off to correct him."

The brief moment of levity had meant that Sara left the room feeling calmer than she had since she had arrived at the hospital.


	7. Chapter 7

Having skipped dinner to get through some old case notes, Sara realised she had missed at least three meals. The grumbling from her tummy concurring with her thought, she felt the need to seek out some food before going home. She had started to head away when she collided with someone for the second time in two hours. She picked herself from the floor in disgust.

"Do I have hit me tattooed to my face?" Looking up to see who had mown her down.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry."

"Catherine? Have people stopped looking where they are going?" Sara complained checking herself for damage.

"What?" Catherine looked puzzled.

"It's not the first time I've been knocked down today." Sara offered.

Catherine smirked. "Perhaps it's you."

"Thanks."

The two women stood awkwardly in the corridor. A loud rumble of Sara's stomach broke the silence.

Sara looked embarrassed. "Sorry."

Catherine immediately looked concerned. "Sara when did you last eat?"

"I'm sorry did you say eat?"

"Sara," Catherine chastised.

"What? It is top of my list, right above washing and sleeping" When Catherine did not look mollified she continued. "I was on my way out when I was struck down by a southern tornado." Sara was unsure why she felt the need to justify herself to her colleague. Because that was what she was wasn't she? Just a Colleague?

"Sorry." Catherine grinned.

Sara chewed her lip. "What did Grissom say?"

"About what?"

"Me. Taking time."

"Nothing much." When Sara frowned at this, her colleague elaborated. "No seriously, he raised an eyebrow and said 'she has a lot of time accrued' and scurried down the hall."

Sara half nodded somewhat unconvincingly. "How does the case look?"

"I walked the timeline and Sidney's story stands up." Catherine became professional in her manner as she laid out the case for Sara. "We have enough physical evidence but the DNA wasn't in CODIS; do you think she'll be able to ID him?"

"Well given she hasn't even been able to tell us what happened. I can't really tell you." And as an after thought, "Sid will be able to though; photo graphic memory."

"Good."

Have you found anything else?

Catherine continued. "Well he's not in CODIS and we have no fingerprints so…" Catherine hesitated. "So, either he has been lucky before or this is first time out."

"He dam near killed her Catherine," Sara spat. "I doubt this is his first time."

Catherine put her head to the side and looked past Sara. "How is Rosie?"

"She's not said anything yet I don't think. But she's been extubated and I'm assured she's 'comfortable'." Sara made a face at the word comfortable.

"She'll pull through Sara. It will be okay." Catherine pulled Sara into a half hug.

Sara, uncomfortable with sudden, imposed closeness stepped back to release herself from the hug. In a brief moment of honesty, Sara looked Catherine in the eye and spoke plainly. "No, no it's not." And, with a half attempt at a smile she added, "But thank you for the support."

The awkward silence that followed was broken by the voice of the young doctor that had 'run' into Sara earlier.

"Well, Sara, Sara Sidle," Ellie said warmly. "Heading out?"

"Trying to." Sara smiled back. Their eyes met and Sara felt something she had not since the first time Catherine had eventually smiled at her.

Catherine eyed Ellie. Confused by the look on her colleague's face, Sara felt introductions were in order.

"Catherine, this is," Sara peered at Ellie's badge, "Dr Hawkins, or Ellie, as she is known to people whom she knocks down in the hall."

Ellie stuck out her hand. "Pleased to meet you."

"And you." Catherine responded, firmly shaking the doctor's hand.

"Catherine is my partner." Sara added and nearly missed Ellie's face drop.

"Sara, do you need a ride home?" Catherine asked.

"Huh, Ah no my car is work. I'll just catch a cab." Sara then added. "If I give you my keys could you give them to Greg so he can drive my car to my apartment?"

"Greg knows where you live?"

"Yeah he drove me home once."

"Oh partner as in cop thing." Ellie suddenly lit up.

The two colleagues looked at one another and then at Ellie.

"CSI actually." Sara chuckled to herself realising what Ellie had thought. "We work in the same lab."

Sara dug her hand in her pockets for her keys. Handing them to Catherine, she smiled. "Thanks Catherine." She smiled cordially to the two women and excused herself. "I have to get going. I need to eat and sleep before I fall over."

Ellie quickly spoke up. "Well, I'm about to head out fancy some breakfast?"

Sara looked at Ellie. 'Is she just being friendly?' she speculated 'is she interested?. Unable to decide and sensitive that the two women had an audience, she declined. "You know, I wouldn't be good company right now. I need to get home." Adding as an afterthought, "But thanks."

A noticeably disappointed Ellie replied with a smile. "No sweat, perhaps another time."

"Sure."

Catherine piped up. "You sure about the ride?"

"Yes." Sara answered. "I'm going to head out ladies. I catch you later." Feeling increasingly more awkward, she turned with a half wave and headed home, leaving the two women no choice but to stand together watch her leave.

When Sara arrived home, the last twenty-four hours hit her. Completely exhausted she managed to grab a banana as she crossed her apartment on route to the bedroom. After setting her alarm, she curled up on the bed, still fully clothed, and fell immediately into a deep dreamless sleep.


End file.
